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Healthy Divorces

The notion of having a healthy divorce seems impossible to most people. The reasoning behing that is because our media portrays the unhelathy divorced famlies in our society. They are the ones that have expensive, long and contentious divorces that are traumatic to the children and are life-sucking experience for the couple involved.

We hear stories of monumental custody battles, violence, parental abductionand child abandonment. I've personally seen how litigatgion adversely affects families and how courts are not meant to handle emotional and family issues like divorce. I've seen the dirty divorce games played by spouses and attorneys and the lasting consequences.

But think about this for a minute - when have you read a story in your local newspaper or heard a report on the television or radio in which divorced families are portrayed as doing well? Sadly, good news doesn't create enough interest.

I'm here to tell you that there are successful healthy divorce families and they need to be acknowledged and commended for choosing an alternative to traditional litigated divorce. These couple see the value of taking the road less travel and then end up with a better divorce. I know this because I've met many of them. I'm a big believer in rewarding the behavior you want to see. So... that means if we want to hear more stories about healthy divorce we have to tell the stories. We must reward the moms and dads in the world who are courageously figuring out how to have a healthy divorce.


Many of the couples I help get divorced walk away from the divorce with the following:

1. Both parents work together to co-parent and be actively involved in their childrens lives. The childrens needs are the top priority for both parents. Each parent values the importance of the other parent's role in their childrens life.

2. Children can count on either parent to be for them in the time of need and parents are welcomed to attend any major occassion - sports, graduation, wedding etc. that is important to the children.

3. Parents work together to look forward and not dwell on past mistakes. Their main focus is making the divorce the least traumatic experience as possible and to make sure that the children are not put a disadvantage in the future because they will be a part of a split familiy.

4. Parents communicate with each other regarding all important issues about the children including academic,discipline, religion etc. Children are never asked to carry messages between the parents and parents never talk negatively about the other in the children's presence.

5. Adults set an example of how positive relationships can be fostered through good communication and respect.

6. Children are not exposed to adult conflict.

7. Children are allowed to speak opening to either parent about any issues they maybe having and never expected to sensor what they say to one parent about the other parent.

8. All family members learn to respond to stress with flexiblity and a problem-solving attitude.

9. Parents are flexible and willing to change the parenting schedule when it is important to their children or it will assist the other parent.

10. Parents do not feel threatened when a child wants to spend more time with the other parent.


These are the common attributes of parents who divorce through mediation and collaborative divorce. If you think that any or most of these issues are of high importance to you and your spouse, traditional divorce litigation may not be the best option to proceed with your divorce.

If you or someone you know is interested in healthy divorce alternatives, The Law Offices of Tejal V. Patel, will definitely answer your questions. Please call 856-988-5453 for your free initial consultation today.

Categories: Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Related Issues
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Address: One Greentree Centre 10000 Lincoln Dr. East, Suite 201 Marlton, NJ 08053 Phone: (856) 988-5453